Marrying My Self: I DO!

After about a month in Hawaii, I realized it was imperative that I create vows and marry my physical body. I’ve had a long and abusive history with my body and food, so it occurred to me in a moment of desperation that I need to make a list of promises to myself. When I began to intentionally create this sacred relationship with my physical body, I opened the door for the ultimate true relationship within my Self to expand.

Most people who choose to undergo anything like this commit to “marrying myself” in whatever way they see fit – it could involve anything from a formal ceremony with friends to reciting vows for the first time privately with PJs on. “Marrying myself” didn’t feel right to me a few months ago, so I divided this process into “marrying my physical body” and then planned to “marry my Spirit” later.

Writing my vows a few months ago became one of the most intense experiences of my life – it was relaxed and private, but I was making promises that would break every habit I had been clinging to for years. I made the commitment to unconditionally love, have compassion with, honor and cherish my physical body. I asked for a channel of raw communication to be opened in that moment and in each moment throughout my life – that my body would tell me if I was doing something harmful (like eating too much, too little, or eating something my body wasn’t happy with, judging or comparing, etc.), and I promised to listen to the message without judgment or hesitation. I acknowledged that any illness or physical pain was my body speaking up. It was in those moments that my body became my true teacher, an outward reflection of the wisdom within me. Listening to my body meant listening to my Self.

And that was it. No fancy ceremony or documentation – just a list of vows on scrap paper taped into my journal. I have read these vows every day since.

Now, and only now, does it feel right to marry my Spirit.

I have realized through my writing process that the deeper I get on my path – the more I get to know my Self and the world – the less guarded I am about sharing my writing (or anything for that matter). My writing is the manifestation of what my soul experiences. It is not the truth that lies in silence within me – it is my mere attempt to convey what is wordless.

And so, here are my written vows. I feel a sense of permanency and safety around sharing them with whomever reads this. Whoever you are – if you’ve read this far, you’re meant to be here right now. Maybe it will inspire you to do something similar, or maybe you’ll just continue on living as the beautiful human you were before stumbling onto your computer. Regardless, all my love to you.

MARRIAGE VOWS:

Heal:

I vow to always create a healing space in my heart, to always live from a place of love.
I vow to surrender to each moment in honor of my present self and my eternal light.
I vow to be gentle and kind with myself – the only place where my peace exists is within me.
I vow to see through this physical world to the spirit realm – to help heal those who come to me, but to always put myself & my path first.

Renew:
I vow to recognize and release anything that does not presently serve me.
I vow to renew my intentions and my yoga practice every day – to allow my higher Self to be my guide in each moment, to tune into the wisdom that is Spirit – refreshed each day, each moment.
I vow to breathe, practice, eat, walk, love, and live with pure intention.

Make safe:
I vow to always keep myself safe and to never forget that I hold the space for my own safety.
I vow to remind myself that my home is eternally within – it is not a physical place to return or get to, it is the life space where my path exists within me.
I vow to create my own safe place and intentionally tune in to feel my angels, all of evolution, and mankind supporting me.

Inspire with power:
I vow to inspire myself with my ability to love and with the truth that I am love.
I vow to strive to grow and step into my power as the artist of my life and creator of my experience.
I vow to love myself unconditionally and with all the power of Spirit.
I vow to recognize that nothing in my mind and nothing my mind creates is truth. I vow to realize truth within my intuition – within my higher Self in each moment.
I vow to see through the fear and negativity my mind creates and practice nonresistance, vulnerability, and compassion.
I vow to be compassionate with my mind – to befriend it.
I vow to recognize the power of my mind – to honor it as a physical thing that creates thoughts which then create more physical things in this world.
I vow to only use the power of my mind to create things that will serve my light & the light in others. I vow to hold space for release of anything I create accidentally that does not serve me.
I vow to strive to never misuse the power of my word, to step back from my human experience so I can see through the drama of the mind.

Be certain:
I vow to never doubt my intuition.
I vow to always listen to my higher self and my physical body.
I vow to cherish and honor the part of me that is always clear, light, and certain.
I vow to remind myself that I am never stuck – I am moving forward & shining my light even in moments of despair or pain – I vow to trust in this path with unwavering certainty.

Without fear:
I vow to inspire myself to live from the place of love – the infinite well that is my Spirit.
I vow to always bring myself back to this well of love when I find myself feeling small or powerless and afraid.
I vow to create awareness around fear so I can transcend it and become free.
I vow to have compassion with fear and discomfort and to gently find my way back to my light in whatever way I can in each moment.
I vow to surrender to emotions that must pass through me – I vow to surrender judgment and negativity while observing this process.
I vow to practice non-attachment to my mind’s beliefs and opinions.

Unveil immortality:
I vow to unveil immortality within myself.
I vow to step outside of my mind any time I am caught in my human experience – any time I feel trapped by time.
I vow to recognize and remind myself that I am eternal – significant beyond my mind’s understanding – and that from this seat of awareness, nothing of this world matters. I vow to cherish the beauty and freedom of no-thingness and non-attachment.

Harmonize differences:
I vow to always balance myself – to recognize when I am giving more energy to external things or people than I am to myself.
I vow to always strive to see my reflection – and infinite light – in all those I encounter.
I vow to accept and honor each person with nonjudgmental awareness that we are all on the path regardless of whether they know it or not, and regardless of how they are living at this moment in time. The way they are living may not be a reflection of their light, but that is ok – they will find their way home. I vow to hold space for them.
I vow to take what every person offers me with nonresistance and to learn from every encounter – none of this world is coincidence.
I vow to never take anything personally that others do or that Life brings to me.
I vow to recognize when I am critical of others and see that I am resisting something within myself when I resist or judge them – I vow to transcend these things and release the stagnant old energy around them.

Become closer to God AKA the Universe AKA Spirit AKA Creator AKA My Higher Self:
I vow to lean into my light and step fully into my power – to recognize that I am love and I am one with God – I am the Universe expressing itself in human form.
I vow to recognize and remind myself constantly that my sole purpose in life is to be fully present and conscious in each moment – there is no where to get to and no judgment around where and who I seem to be now.
I vow to live from a place of love where judgment and negativity starve and disintegrate – where I see through the illusion of separation between “me” and “them”.
I vow to see no coincidence in the happenings of this world and to trust in divine timing.
I vow to be selective and fully aware of the energetic and physical fuel I take in and to make sure it is always adding to my light, not distancing me from it.
I vow to make light of every situation – to laugh and be playful with myself and with life, to embrace everything fully.
I vow to let go – to surrender to life and to see the goodness that I am.
I vow to celebrate my existence, this life, and the gift I am to this world.
I vow to harness those gifts to honor my Self.
I vow to live each moment with an attitude of gratitude.
I vow to witness – to not be this human experience. I vow to reside beyond it, understanding and bowing to my own immensity – the immensity that is the love of God.
I am blessed, I am a blessing.
I vow to accept and allow myself to continue learning in each moment – to be a student of life and my inner Guru, always.

From this moment on, I am my own beloved, always. 

Namaste, Laura Marie XO

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